Making Peace with the Past

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Do recurring images or memories from the past nonchalantly, but insistently rise to the surface of your awareness? Do you expend a certain level of energy avoiding thoughts around a particular memory from years ago? Do you feel guilt or shame around any aspect of your past?  Do you keep bumping into the same kinds of challenges again and again? Do you suspect that you may be numbing yourself with food or other substances to avoid persistent “old” feelings? Do you find yourself, as Alanis Morrisette reminds us, repeating the same unfortunate relationship patterns “all over again with somebody else?”

If any of these statements resonate for you, you may surprised to learn that making peace emotionally and energetically with specific past events  can significantly alter your present experience. As you remove the charge from these feelings that remain in your energy system now,  you will feel better – and find yourself better able to approach life with more ease and confidence!

Researchers are learning that trauma is held in our bodies, which is why talk therapy alone cannot completely clear the effects of past events from our present experience. How might you be carrying the past with you into your now in unfortunate ways?  The EFT approach does not involve reliving past trauma in any way. It does require a gentle exploration, and while it is exceptionally helpful to have a skilled EFT professional on your team, you can achieve great results on your own.

So, how?

Using an EFT strategy called The Personal Peace Procedure (created by EFT pioneer Gary Craig), you can begin to address those lingering past events and feel immediate relief. This process involves naming and writing down events or feelings from the past, giving them a short name (i.e “got yelled at, felt bad”), assigning an intensity level (0-10) to the event, then applying EFT systematically to each specific event. There may even be fear or reluctance around approaching these events. Under normal circumstances, these fears can be named and handled as well as long as it feels safe to do so. If for any reason you are not comfortable exploring these emotions on your own, please consult a licensed therapist or a skilled, heart-based EFT professional.

I tend to ask people to approach the Personal Peace Procedure very organically, in the greater context of noticing images from the past, people from the past or feelings about past events as they rise into your awareness over the course of a day.  This is your body talking to you! And it may be the first time you have allowed yourself to listen in this particular way. Especially if you’re feeling bad, notice what you’re seeing / feeling / remembering, give it a title and write it down in a special notebook. There may be several things about this memory or time that bother you. Write them all down. For many of us, noticing (and acknowledging) what is passing through our minds at any given time is quite a new experience.

When you are ready to work with some of these events, pictures or feelings, make some time for yourself:

• Light a candle
• Turn off your cell phone
• Set a timer if you have one, any length of time is ok
• Bring out your journal or notebook (the one you have been using to give all these previously unnoticed and unexplored parts of your life the deserved attention!)
• Begin applying EFT to one event (or group of related feelings/events) per day, bringing them as close to “0″ as they will go.
• Do approach these events in your own time and in your own way, gently tapping until the intensity level subsides.
• Notice your progress, write down a new number that represents where you are with this particular event / feeling / issue now…

As you work through this, your days may begin to feel somehow lighter and clearer. Congratulations, you are making peace with your past in a beautiful way!  You may begin to feel surprisingly relieved in ways you never thought possible. Notice, for example, how your relationship with your partner feels easier, even though he/she did not necessarily sign up for change!  Make a note of any positive shifts in your experience. The better you feel, the more you will make more time to visit this process again.

Tips for helping yourself more effectively:

If you could live life over again, is there anything you would prefer to skip? What about this event still bothers you?

These are excellent questions for getting more specific!

If this part of your life was a movie, how long would it be?  What is the title? Who are the characters? How do you feel about watching it?

Break the movie up into small scenes (5-10 seconds long) and visit each “crescendo” of feeling, allowing yourself to get very specific…

If you are only getting a few visuals, what are they?  How do you feel about witnessing them?

Getting more curious? Check out The EFT Experience: Episode 6 for a step by step demonstration how EFT can be used for greater Personal Peace.

much peace,
Jade